Wednesday, January 26, 2011

New Plan


Like we Spaniards say, me tuve que comer el orgullo...una vez más... I had to eat my pride, again. Yes, it´s true. After I had promised my friends and family that I would never put myself through IVF, or them, really. and after I emailed my father telling him that I was never going to ask him to talk to Dr. Moron and ask him for a favor...I just had to ask my padre to please, go through the process again. To be honest, after that email, my father responded saying that he doesn't mind asking Dr. Moron for anything and/or paying for my plane tickets (and my dughter's), he also said that he's worried about me and what all these hormones do to my body. Really? My father worries about me. Makes me feel like a little girl looking for her daddy's approval again, feels nice. He's so selfish materialistic..that I never think he can worry about me. It is a nice surprise, in the midst of all this IF hell.

The plan is to have my mother bring me all my meds from Spain when she comes in March. Dr. Moron can give her the prescriptions, she picks them up at the low price of barely nothing thanks to the social security, and she brings the meds across the border..haha..ocean, sorry. Sounds so dangerous. Now, talking about danger...Will she have any problems bringing lupr.on over?? most likely, he'll prescribe cont.rol till I get there and start stims. So nice. I should just have to be there for 2 weeks of stimming, retrieval, then another few days till trasfer. A total of 3 weeks. Then off to Marbella to relax w DH. Beach house...mmm...I can smell the ocean already!!

Will it happen this way?? Probably not...but I can dream for a few weeks.

1st goal: IVF started
2nd goal: IVF finished with good embies transferred. (3 of them).
3rd goal: BABY!
4th goal: Keep my sanity and my husband..I guess I should have my husband in goal #3....I don't think we'll have any problems until I get my BFN...right??

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Make up your mind!

So my husband has been changing his mind quite a bit lately...or at least he does when he talks to me. Let me explain. He wants me to STOP IT (all IF subjects, ideas, IVF cycles, etc) and move on with our most of the times when I am craying histerically telling him that we need a plan, that I need a plan...that I need to hold on to some idea of a plan he says to me to STOP IT, that we are not having any more kids and that we can´t afford another IVF. He does this to stop the crying, hoping, etc...
Every once in a while, he feels like telling me that MAYBE we can do this, or that...and MAYBE afford another cycle...AN INSANE ROLLER COASTER of emotions for me...not so much for him...

We just received some good news..a month ago DH was promoted to GM. $10K more a year. Two days ago, we found out that the bonuses that were eliminated 3 years ago are BACK! yessss!!! That can be up to 20K at the begining of next year (one full year from now).

THE PLAN: We max out our Flex spending account ($5K) this year. That gives us that much money and we don´t have to pay taxes on it. We max out or FSA next year as well. That´s $10,000 no taxes, no interest, right? If we can pay for half of the cycle before it, and the second half of the cycle when our insurance company lets us use our 2012 FSA, we can add $3K from our savings and afford ONE cycle. Very complicated. I hope you guys understand it.
We would have to pay $250 a paycheck for 2 years. The raise itself is a little over $300 a there it goes! Like we never got a raise. We should be in good shape when we get our bonus next year, plus I can start working August 2012 too because gordi will be in Kindergarten.

Conclusion: I will be able to do a cycle in March/April 2012. IF I get pregnant, my daughter will be 5 1/2 years old when I have the baby. So big!! But at least I get my second shot at all this.
I will be able to pick the clinic and Doctor that I want..a definite PLUS.

Another FREE cycle in Spain is not off the´s just so hard to even consider going through that hell again...we´ll see what happens. Obviously, I would want to keep my money in my pocket if I could...

That´s the plan for now. Algo es algo!!