So many things going on..

Well...I guess it's normal that around Christmas all of us OCD's get stressed out, right?
1. Trip to Utah for a week - in one week
2. Trip to Spain for 2+ months - in 17 days

I just spotted. I'm at CD21. It happened last time. I spotted on day 21 and found out I was pregnant on day 28. 6 weeks after that I had a D&C.
I was so looking forward to a month with no tracking, no sticks, no programmed sex...and now this. I'm going to have dreams/nightmares about babies all week now. And then, I'm going to be depressed when I leave to Utah.

On the IVF front, I spoke to my dad a few days ago. He met with his cousin (who runs the IVF program at the University) and he said that Baby#1 (gordi, now 2.5) is a complete miracle. He says that I have something else that's not PCOS that makes it impossible for me to get pregnant. My dad couldn't remember the illness, or desease or whatever this really BAD thing that I have is called. HE COULDN'T REMEMBER!!! BUT, the Dr. is ready to meet with me on Jan.4th (2 days after I get there) to talk biz and get the cycle started. I'm excited about that.

Lately I have been thinking about my own personal "miracle" and how I just love her to death. I would do anything for her, and how lucky I am to be able to stay at home and spoil her rotten with my kisses and laughs. She loves me. She's healthy and we are a happy family. Even if we couldn't have more babies, we have our miracle and we're both enjoying every second of her. I'm mad that I got so stressed out when she was a baby and didn't stop crying for 8 months (she had "colic", and acid reflux). I'm mad that I left her at the bebysitter's for 9 months so I could go back to teaching part time. But now it's all good. She's fluent in Spanish, and understands all English. She just started speaking English again. And She loves me as much as I love her. We are so happy together. I'm so blessed. I can't be mad at God anymore, because he gave me my miracle.

I hope all you bloggers out there can get a miracle like mine.