Life

Lately, I´ve been thinking a lot about what infertility means to us. I think all of us have after reading the article on SELF magazine. I think the article was fantastic. It really portrayed a variety of examples of infertility and exhorted ALL to DO something to change the status quo.

I have sent the article to a couple of friends. One of them is an IFer herself, a quiet one, no one knows about it...and the other was a surrogate twice for a couple that couldn´t carry their own babies. The second knows a bit about IVF since she had to go trhough some of it. The first just knows.

I don´t know what else to do. Whenever I am asked THE question: "So, when are you guys going to have a second child??"..huh???...I always answer truthfully..."We can´t have any more kids...right now. We just did an IVF cycle and it failed. We will do it again in September". Whoever asks feels aweful, I guess. I try to make it less ackward, saying stuff like "At least we have gordi..she´s a handful! ha ha". I just can´t lie without tearing up or feeling aweful myself.

Sould I post the article on my facebook page? Most people know what we are going through...I think. I don´t want any more pity...I guess that´s what it is..everybody feels bad for us. It´s pityful. What else can I do? I don´t know anybody infuential or that´s is going to go the extra mile to help the cause..

Anyways...We IFers are sure different creatures. We see our children or other children in a different light. We are always kept "beyond joy" little cowgirl says. There´s always something IF-related in our minds..constantly.

Do we ever recover? When? When we have children? What if we never have children, or more children (as it is in my case...I´m one of the lucky ones)?? Will I feel this way in 10 years, 20?

For now, I am loving Pro.metrium because I´m so busy that I haven´t felt many side-effects lately, AND it means I´m very close to my next FET.
Wish me luck!