Tuesday, April 12, 2011

could it be...

I am so thankfull for the blogosphere and for you guys. At this point in my infertility road, I have nobody to talk to about my crazy thoughts. They all think I am crazy already and I am tired of looking like a fool. My blog is a safe zone. I can say whatever crazy idea, feeling or thought and I feel confident that all of you are going to understand and actually provide interesting and supportive feedback. So I am spotting and cramping lightly. Brownish discharge (sorry for TMI). I have ovulated on my own my last 3 cycles. Yes, on my own. It happens on day 16 and I usually get my period on day 28 or 29. Amazing, right? This hasn´t happened in 2-3 years for me. The last time I can remember having 3 regular cycles back to back was when I got pregnant and miscarried. So, as a good infertile that I am, I have been using OPK´s and doing the whole Bedding dance when I was supposed to and in the positions that I feel are more successful according to my past 2 pregnancies. DH has been taking his Ferti.laid and all!! YES!! and I didn´t have to put it in food like a dog.. The problem (or miracle) is here: I ovulated on saturday night or sunday. There shouldn´t be any blood right now, at least not until next week on wednesday. Weird, huh?? I did spot before I got my BFP on the m/c cycle. Is this implantation bleeding?? I have googled it already, and yes, it can be brownish and it usually happend a week before the period starts... Now, let´s list all the possible reasons for this spotting: Early period Some sort of pro.gesterone problem pregnancy just to have another m/c (please God, don´t make me go through that again!) .... I am very excited right now. I know I shouldn´t be...but I can´t help it. It gets me every time. So sucky. For now, I didn´t work out yesterday or today. I won´t work out all week until I get my BFN. I have a chemical peel (vitali.ze peel) on thursday. I do one of these every two months to help my skin with acne scars and new lesions. Should I cancel it? I am trying to breathe to relax when I feel like I am getting to tense (especially around my lower abdomen). What else can I do?? I am not drinking coffee this week either. What else??!! I hope this is the one. Now you all understand why I can´t say this to anyone else...they´ll feel bad for me or pity me, or think I am stupid as hell.

1 comment:

  1. Eeek!! So exciting! I really hope that this is IT!! Besos!